i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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