I love black thongs
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
