you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
