Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
