you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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