I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
