I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
