Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
