Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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