I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
