was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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