we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
