I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize