If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
love makes seman taste better
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
