Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
