North Korea, Best Korea!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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