break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
