Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
