Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
