chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
