i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
sex in a hospital.. check
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
