Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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