The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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