I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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