is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
