I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
