I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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