The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
