The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
