Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
