I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
