wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
