I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
