wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
