Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
