So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
