I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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