Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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