My brain says no but my pants say off.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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