Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
