I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
