Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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