Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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