just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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