I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
