just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
