so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
