she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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