the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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