Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
