i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize