This girl is more easily done than said...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
