I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
