I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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