I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
