I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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