i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
