But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
