Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
