Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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