Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
