I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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