it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
