I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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