i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
