This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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