Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
