Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
