In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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