I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
