And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
