if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
