i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
