she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
